Work is cool without globigerina around. The poor man faked two sick days after a dispute with senior management after they refused to give him custom personalised business cards immediately. To this effect he decided not to attend to his duty travel conference and remained at home acting sick. What an example.

The Euro 2004 tournament was shocked yesterday by the gross misconduct exhibited by Totti, after video evidence confirmed he spat at Denmark’s Christian Poulsen. UEFA deservedly sentenced a 3 match ban to the Italian forward early this morning.