Two of my pals decided that I need to become more sophisticated and elegant. Their joint venture is being co-ordinated through e-mail in preparation for the daily tutorials during break time. These are some things that I learned in my first lessons:-

• After eating a handful of M&M's as dessert, rather then sticking out your tongue and licking the smeared M&M's colouring from your hand, you might want to consider washing your hands.
• Eating cereal with your hand out of the box while simultaneously feeding the floor, chair and mouth doesn't is neither sophisticated nor elegant.
• Even in Ireland the word Fuck hasn't gained sophisticated status. This also applies to the word 'damn'.
• It's impolite to use the word shit, shite or any other word referring to feaces. The only acceptable alternative is to use 'merde' in a posh French accent.

Yesterday, I was handed my first assignment, due for next Monday: Read The Man's book.

As part of my Irish cultural enhancement program, and daily humour dose, I was also suggested to read The Best of Myles.

Finally in an effort to understand British humour I'm self-screening Blackadder goes forth on my PC at 1am every night.