I'm feeling like a glow worm with a broken bulb.

cool, wedding,... do you know the bride and broom?

This week is a bit low on e-mail quotes recieved but don't worry I found a site full of quotes (via Tom's Blog)

I get many pyrotechnic ideas what to do with Alf's bedsheets

Do you know what happened ... I dropped my pink mobile phone in the lift shaft

Those skirts, they destroy the shape of the body

..., but I know my sister, her boyfriends are never normal

but yesterday i brought some monster carrots - enormous!

women are like wolves, if you want a wolf you have to trap it; you have to sneer it, and then you have to love it.

i didn't fall from her nose hole

O: he looks too italian ... without any offence
P: yeah but what does it really mean?
O: well I shouldn't like him .. or it's should not make a difference, it's you who should like him
P: u r my friend
O: but i never slept with you

Today in the morning my office is half empty as:
...
Who should work then? :-) no no, don't look at me :-)

I haven't posted inbox quotes in a while but today I found this on yahoo answers.

ok im kinda worried an all. my g/f hasn't had her period she she got pregnant. do you think the baby is drinkin the blood??? shes 6 months pregnant. Link

maybe i would rather compare you to a dragon fruit or something more masculine than a peach

I like to find (a) simple solutions (b) to overlooked problems (c) that actually need to be solved, and (d) deliver them as informally as possible, (e) starting with a very crude version 1, then (f) iterating rapidly.

You can put visual effect layers on top of Windows or Linux, but it’s just painting a turd.

Last 2 quotes were found on the web

the internet is broke

I know she logged in, but just try to convince her she didn't

I would have collect my Swedish big 3 - Mikael, Dan u Peter (Referring to band front man)

probably my computer was just tired

Note: If you hear / receive any quotable material you want to share, I'm looking for more quote sources.

it used to be a shed ... they've got a building now

"in dottian we have a saying, you drop the stone on your foot", "in Czech we say, you shit in your pants"

a girl with catholic principles?! ... this is what he can expect.

"What would I buy with 130,000,000?, Loads of organs for people waiting for transplants, then I’d auction them to the highest bidders." (Twenty Major)

(Quote) You are the most powerful magnet in the Universe! You contain a magnetic power within you that is more powerful than anything is this world, and this unfathomable magnetic power is emitted through your thoughts.

Thanks to J for this. Classified ad.
Well hello there. Iam non Irish 29-I have living in Dublin a long time -looking for nice friendly woman for chat out and might be (more) iam good man love life and i love to hav fun this is my mobile(XXXXXXXXX) no time west it pleas and no missing You can text me or call me and we will meet up -woman only pleas 23-35

"my philosophy is: no pain … good!"

oh, oh, very bad, very rude, very stupid, comparing sex and paying for the expensive things? Someone mixed apples with pears....

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.Thanks to B. for this

... it's not like I hate children in the same way Hitler hated the Jews

habit is an iron jacket

You're a lady ... Let me rephrase that: you're meant to be a lady.

have you noticed her ex-boyfriend in the picture? She kind of likes more hot looking guys.

woo hoo COULD YOU BE MORE ROMANTIC ?!?!?! :P:P:P ... ... aahhhhhh, if you dont turn into sugar, i will :D:D:D how sweet :D:D:D

He didn't look black anymore because he's old.

You'd better consider a three-some instead of trying to find a girl for him.

I like to give ties as gifts. You tell men that when they wear a tie they'll keep you close to their heart, but then you can eventually choke them with it.

Have just returned from lunch and met O. I have to say that he looks much better without the beard, not like the bear any more. So I can understand he gets girls easily.

Ignore him until he gets back to normal again

Buying chocolates from Belgium is like taking wood to the forest

Is this a new spice girls song? Is it a lullaby?

hope you are still alive and did not freeze of fear hearing the word children ....
....
defrost please

wireless internet is great ... i can sit on the toilet and talk to you, but I've got to stop for a while to wipe.

a trucker drives under every condition

Ra I hope you understand this. There is nothing personal in this project, absolutely nothing! Unless you invite me for a cup of tee ;-). (Please remember I don' drink coffee, but love any chocolate!)As you know (pardon me my language this time) I'm in the same deep shit with C as you are! And say true A is in the same boat with us. Don't you, A? With love and B.R

Put yr left hand on right shoulder, yr right hand on left shoulder, squeeze gently. U've received a do-it-yrself hug from me!even i want somebody to solace me!by!

You can say it's an emotional rollercoaster.one time i'm elated the next agonized.i'll send you my poems sometime.

Do you know the book The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang Goethe? You might start to write The Sorrows of Young J by Mike

I ate two big ricotta pies today (qassatat), i felt like I was eating a tit.

luckily you had a shorts to change your trousers at work, even though i can imagine that you're freezing. weren't you supposed to hang hot water bottles to your balls to sterilise yourself, this way you're cooling them. (see prev for original quote)

P.S. None of the emo phrases were sent by cheri.

His social skills & feelings are probably at the level of minus 23

I recommend you take boiling baths, wear very tight trousers, and maybe fix a hot water bottle to your balls.

F: I forgot the brand buti only discovered it yesterday
V: I don’t know the brand buti … now that you’re mentioning it I might keep an eye out for it
F: BUTI is not a brand... i meant to write but i, get it?

Obviously this was in the morning when I'm beady eyed, then in the evening I decided it was a woodpecker hammering (at my window). But this morning I found the culprits ... great tits pecking the thermometer!! poor birds, the thermometer is like a bird feeder!!

From the article, What the f***?, by Steven Pinker.
One might have thought that, in the male-dominated world of swearing, the vagina would be revered, not reviled. After all, it's been said that no sooner does a boy come out of it than he spends the rest of his life trying to get back in. This becomes less mysterious if one imagines the connotations in an age before tampons, toilet paper, regular bathing, and antifungal drugs.

I know I've been saying this for the last month, but today we'll do some work.

Right middle fusiform gyrus

She's so annoying, arrogant and bitchy. God knows what he's doing not giving her any children.

He sounds exactly like a guy whose balls are permanently squeezed.

Dressing nicely and being well off isn't a sure way of getting to chicks, but if you don't have them it'll put them off. It's like salary. A high salary isn't going to motivate you, but a low salary will demoralize you.

This week the best line wasn't received in an e-mail but heard on the bus. There was a girl talking to her friend, but she was actually giving a lecture to the whole bus. It stared off like this:-
I'm so like mega smart. This is the proof:-

In Finland most of the people speak Danish
At least the people on the Finnish Danish coast do.

You know that in the United States Spanish is spoken more than English. After Spanish then there's English, then maybe, probably Italian.

The couple sitting behind me decided to give the trivia game a go too, and they started asking each other capital cities:
Lady: What is the capital city of Iceland
Man: Reykjavik
Lady: Oh really, I thought it was Warsaw

One from the e-mails now

... and when his friends see him do something silly they send him in the box (making an actual sign of a box in the air). When he's in the box he has to be quiet and behave properly. Anyway, on that day they let him out of the box and told him that if he'll manage to hookup with that chick he'll have a lifetime pass to get out of the box.